Last year I rebranded and it was the best thing I’d done for my business up until then.  I knew I still wanted to take things to the next level with a truly legit site … but I wanted to be sure I’d be working with someone who would GO BIG OR GO HOME. Not someone who would plop my brand into a template or a wedding photographer formula. Then, I found Ribbons of Red.  Let me tell you a little story about working with the best designer ever. Immediately upon contacting Renee, I knew it was a perfect match.  Not only was she excited about my brand vibe and my vision … she totally “got” me and where I wanted to take my brand experience. I liked that she wasn’t a branding ‘factory.’ I was always only talking with one person … one person who really cared about my business, the process, and the execution of my site. Everything was customized to my business and not to anything else she had ever done before.

I’m the type of person who can’t send just one email. If you email with me often, you know there’ll be an addendum to the initial email — a PS, or even a PPS. I change my mind a lot and I’m random and I type ‘aloud’ to work through what I’m trying to convey.  My mind is basically a junk drawer that needs to be organized. Yet, as soon as it’s organized, I know it’ll be harder to find stuff.  Renee never once made me feel like a crazy mind-changing photographer. (Even if she thought it, haha.)  She was patient, kind, awesome, professional and yet personable, and most importantly … a VISIONARY.

I know how easy it is, as a small business owner, to make excuses when it comes to major investments like custom design work. And I don’t think it’s something to run after right away. I spent a whole year collecting inspiration before rebranding, and another 8 months sitting with that brand before pursuing a custom site. I think the biggest mistake we photographers make is thinking we can do our own print or web design. As creatives, we’re almost offended by the notion we cannot do it ourselves. You might dismiss my advice, but I believe that investing in custom design with a dedicated design professional is the best choice! And I think it’s okay, and good, actually, to take your time … you’ll know when it’s right to take that step. For me, it was when I finally stopped changing my mind about what I wanted. I knew exactly what my brand experience was … who my ideal client was … I had the identity work I finally adored … and I was ready to take it all the way. A clear vision for your business is crucial — no designer can read your mind.

I recommend working with Ribbons of Red without hesitation. She’ll take every little quirk that makes you you and showcase them in a way that’ll make your day. She did that for me. Finally, the Anda Marie Photography brand experience is everything I’ve dreamed of. And I’M THRILLED. Thanks for stopping by to see it all.

Please click around and let me know what you think!

xo,

AM

I got real in my last blog post and shared how I’ve been derailed and uninspired these past couple months. I always take December and January off from shooting in order to reflect on the previous wedding season, reassess my business, and to just have a breather and spend time with friends and family. The past couple years this has been totally necessary, but this year I think I made a mistake. I was crazy busy these past months, but I wasn’t doing anything to feed my soul. It’s a common misconception that wedding photographers work one day a week, but most wedding photographers own their own businesses, and the Business Owner hat consumes far more time (6 days a week, oftentimes 12+ hour days) than the Photographer hat (maybe only 1 or 2 days a week at about 12 hours total). Most of us spend a small percentage of our week actually shooting (the inspiring part, for me) … and the rest of the week is spent meeting with clients, fielding emails, sending out contracts and invoices, doing bookkeeping and accounting, setting goals, editing images, branding/marketing/social media’ing, writing copy for print and web materials, burning and packaging client discs, going to the post office and bank (my least favorite things ever), participating in forums and workshops, and (the most time-consuming for me) designing books and albums.

As I mentioned, the soul-feeding and inspiring part of my job is the shooting. And I need to do it consistently to feel alive and to feel myself. Even in the terrible winter, I’ve realized. So when Abbey told me she was coming to Madison and wanted to meet (we met previously only through the Twitterverse), I immediately let her know that I’d be shooting her (and she wasn’t allowed to refuse). Abbey is a fellow WI photographer (very new to the scene) who is a real talent. Talking with her was completely natural, exciting, and great. I felt like I found a long-lost friend and kindred spirit. We went out for tacos, tried some new Madison beer, and then ran around on Lake Mendota for 10 minutes. Those 10 minutes were all it took for me to feel myself and on track again. I woke-up this Monday morning fired-up for the week, for the coming year, and for being 30.

When I shoot, I prefer to observe before directing. One thing I noticed and loved right away about Abbey is how quickly she talks and how much she uses her hands when doing so. I wanted to capture some of that.

After being on that lake with Abbey I returned home feeling so revived and wanting to go back out there. So I took Troy along and he turned the camera on me instead. I wanted some updated photos that I didn’t take on my iMac, haha, and to remember the first awesome day of being 30 :)

Abbey, I love ya. Thanks for everything.

Hey, it’s me below. Feeling good.

From now on, even if I don’t have time (and especially when I don’t have time), I just need to get out and shoot something for myself on a regular basis. I don’t want to burn out on the Business Owner front because I’m not nurturing the Photographer side of things. Have a great Monday. Some GREAT things are in store here soon. I hope one of the next blog posts I write is on my NEW BLOG!!!

Tuesday morning and the snow is falling, dusting all the cars I see out my window. This past Sunday I ushered in a new decade of life. I took it harder than I thought I would. I don’t think it’s the actual number, but rather life’s current circumstances and the fact that your birthday lends itself to thinking about yourself even more than normal. An entire day of people telling you how old you and where you’re at in life’s continuum.

Although most of my industry peers and friends are my age or older, I still focus on the handful who are younger than me. I don’t compare my work to their work, or anything like that. But I compare my age to their ages. How they are so young (my favorite photographer is 20!) and already on the paths of their dreams. How lucky they were to know that and follow it so early. I wonder what it would have been like if I’d done the same. I do realize that my own path … as non-linear as it was … brought the right people into my life at the right time. And having a professional position outside of the arts first, makes me never want to give up being my own boss now (my old boss was awesome, but just saying). I know I will never give up on photography because of what’s behind me. I know comparing your age to someone else’s age is really dumb. It really is a number and nothing more. Who knows how long any of us will be here anyways? I am grateful I didn’t sit around thinking I was too old to start my own business until one day I really was too old. It’s about what lies before us and not behind us, anyway, that matters. I’m just babbling … this is the way my thoughts are these days.

It’s a crazy thought to me … leaving behind my 20s. I loved them, insane as they sometimes/often were. Their first half was marked by college, lots of new relationships and loss and growth and community and discovery. And, sadly enough, they were marked by giving up on art and all my dreams in exchange for security and safety and the known. 23 was perhaps the most epic and rollercoastery. Lots of Choose Your Own Adventure choices and decisions made that year. The second half of my 20s was marked by grad school, my first truly professional position with the UW, marrying Troy, adapting to life in a city where everyone moves away after college, mourning a community scattered across the globe and embracing a new, different community of like-minded inspiring creatives and photographers. Rediscovering and unveiling all my dreams again … and this time, actually going for them and making them happen, starting my own business and quitting my fulltime UW job. Settling in some ways and resisting settling in many more ways.

And now, 30.

Like I said, it’s not about the number. I’ve been looking forward to my 30s actually. People say it’s like stepping into your own skin. But I feel far from my own skin these days. January in general has been rough on me. If I’m being honest, I’ve been derailed since November. Out of sorts and uninspired. You can probably tell from my lack of blogging. I know this is mainly because I take time off in the winter from shooting … I just need to get back into that. I took a month away from Facebook and that was amazing just because it was one less thing suffocating me … one less thing laying itself down on my chest to squeeze the breath out of my lungs. One less thing to keep up with, impress others with. This is the deepest rut I’ve been in since starting my business. Things on paper are great … I still turn away more work than I’m able to take. I have inspiring and awesome clients. I’m not unhappy and I absolutely love my job. I’m just, not myself. January is always a time I look forward to like I used to look forward to the first days of school. Renewal and resolutions. But every day since December I’ve been filling pages upon pages in my Moleskine … trying to write it out and work it out. My head is stuck in years ago and years to come. What I really want and how I need to struggle through some change to get there. The time it will take. I’ve always been a daydreamer, but lately it’s extra hard to be in the present.  Somebody give me a personal project to work on. Tell me this won’t last. I know it won’t.

As I was writing this, a friend sent me a message on Twitter saying he took his 30th birthday really hard too. But now, a couple years in, it’s the best decade yet. I know he’s right — that it will be. I just need to shake this present feeling. Entering my 30s, I see myself focusing on the now, what I have, and loving it harder and better. I see myself embracing what I wasn’t ready for in my 20s, and seeking the approval of others less. I see myself recognizing what I need for myself and not what I need others to see me doing or being.

I see moving forward with balance and stealth. But never with so much balance that I forget to live with abandon and spontaneity when a moment presents itself. Because what is a life of only balance? I need to keep some of my 20s-spirit, after all.

Everything passes. I know that one day I won’t even remember these days. These times of darkness make the other times so much better. Perhaps this blog post was a little too raw and honest for a public and business platform. But it’s where I’m at and I wish others would write more from the heart sometimes so we wouldn’t all carry the illusion that we are always all inspired and *on* all the time.

I’m looking forward to a lookbook-inspired shoot next week. To shooting consistently again. I’m clinging to that for now :)

xx,

AM

In other news, I just came off a month-long Facebook break. I didn’t miss it at all, so I went back kicking and screaming a little. I’m easing back in. I needed that month, and I’ll blog more about it later (including why I went back). I hope to blog within the week again. Hope you are all well … thanks for all your support. Even though I haven’t been actively blogging, I check-in each day to read the new comments and then I smile remembering the great people I’ve met and have yet to meet in this industry :)

My friend Courtney just sent me this photo from when we hung out in NV last February. Can’t wait to be back there again in about a month.

I find these posts difficult because I always feel that the collection of images I create from a certain event/session is far more powerful than any singular image. I love to tell the whole story and I wonder sometimes how just a slice of something translates when set apart. But without getting into that any deeper, here are some 2011 images that caught my eye as I scrolled through my desktop folders last night:

2011 was the year I finally saw my style & work come into their own. The year I stopped looking to other photographers for inspiration or comparison … and didn’t feel a sense of panic that I was doing things wrong. I no longer cared about that; I really finally felt comfortable shooting 100% from my heart. I’m not here saying I’ve sworn-off looking at other photographers’ work. In fact, I believe it’s important to foster that virtual community by being out on friends’ and others’ blogs, leaving comments and encouraging one another in all of this. I keep up with my friends’ blogs, as they’ve become my coworkers, in a sense. And family in yet another way. I do remain inspired by many many other photographers. But I’m no longer mimicking what they do. It’s all part of learning though … I think we all emulate those we admire when we start out.

I have to end this by thanking my clients, without whom none of this is possible, obviously. They’ve flown me all over the country yet again this past year … including to the west coast several times … my favorite place. People are starting to call it my home away from home. Definitely suits me. Thank you thank you thank you to my clients, friends, and other photographers who’ve helped and encouraged me. I’m glad I don’t foresee any end to this most exciting of careers.

Love, AM

The best part was connecting with Jenny. One of my closest friends in Madison years ago and still today. Our talks are the best … never surface-level. We both get so busy and might not always connect a ton between visits, but when we see each other it’s always as if we haven’t skipped a single beat. Easy like that.

I got to hang out with Jenny for a day at the high school where she teaches and her students adore her. She is so inspiring; I love having so many friends who are living their passions/callings. I almost teared-up a few times seeing her students interact with her. It’s so obvious when people are doing what they’re meant to be doing.  xoxo, Jenny. Love you, AM.

First series taken on Fuji 400H film with a 1970s Pentax SLR I borrowed from my dad over 10 years ago. The shutter is broken so it only takes photos at 1/100th shutter speed no matter what. Makes for some interesting thinking on your feet.

The second series was taken on my iPhone. Only brought my oldest & newest cameras with me.

In the same way this image is burned in my memory, I can remember the exact moment I finished each of my most favorite novels. I try to read a book each week and I’ve been doing this for about a decade now. That’s 500+ books and five of them stand above the rest. Five of them that I will reread every single year again and again. The first best novel I read was in 2001 — Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard. I finished it while hanging out at my regular coffee shop, The Blue Moon. At my table was a stack of letters I had just finished responding to and a worn journal full of quotes and articles. I had dial-up internet and a juno.com email address. No cell phone and I didn’t even know what digital cameras were. Life was more simple … I owned 5 shirts and 2 pants. I was simpler too.

In 2003 I finished One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. His magical realism shook my world and I’ve never stopped thinking about parallel realities or his haunting characters since. Appropriately, I finished this book on a Friday night around 3am in my host family’s house in Quito, Ecuador. I was living there while studying Latin American history and the Spanish language. There I met and became close with the members of a hugely popular band. We toured around the country and long before my professional photography days I was granted backstage access to shoot their shows. I was treated like a rockstar any place we went … art openings, private clubs, everywhere … I led a surreal and unforgettable life while there. A life I cannot imagine in the States. I’m still in touch with my host sisters … Ecuadorian versions of myself. South America is a place that makes my heart ache to think about. I miss it all the time.

In 2005 I finished The History of Love by Nicole Krauss and passed it right to my roommate Kaleen. We lived in an old and awesome house on the near east side of Madison while volunteering at a coffeehouse/music venue/restaurant. We were young, a little crazy, and driven … the people of our community talented and beautiful. We went out every night and threw the best parties (that was all Kaleen — I was never a good entertainer). I was transitioning from college to working life and totally undecided about my next step — Peace Corps, grad school, move away from Madison? Art and Photography were never on the agenda at this point — I was too scared. Those were dark days for me, actually. I’m really fortunate I had the roommates and friends I did at that point. Some of them stuck by me in ways I didn’t deserve. They will always be the closest to me, no matter the 936 or 2,091 or 1,533 or 840 miles between us.

It took four more years to discover another true favorite. In 2009 I finished East of Eden by John Steinbeck while on a roadtrip through the Southwest with Troy. I picked it up at a used bookstore in Sierra Vista, AZ and finished it while staying in Bisbee, near the border. I had short blonde pixie cut hair and a Canon Rebel (just for fun). I loved the desert and every minute in it … for its way of life and beauty, I fell in love with the American Southwest once again. The mountains and long dusty expanses have always felt like home to me.

On December 4, 2011 I finished The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach. I’ll be rereading this along with the previously mentioned four novels the rest of my life. Ostensibly it’s about baseball. But really it’s about community,  failure, calling, and connection. It’s teeming with the subleties and the layers of the Human Condition. Philosophical without being annoying or trying too hard. It’s magic. In the same way I passed The History of Love to Kaleen back in 2005, I want to pass The Art of Fielding on to you all right now. I’m thrilled to see so many of my friends and followers already ordering and reading it. I don’t think you’ll regret it.

Left: me rereading Pilgrim at Tinker Creek (circa 2003) & Right: me reading The Art of Fielding last weekend (on my iPhone!).

“There were no whys in a person’s life, and very few hows. In the end, in search of useful wisdom, you could only come back to the most hackneyed concepts, like kindness, forbearance, infinite patience. Soloman and Lincoln: This too shall pass. Damn right it will. Or Chekov: Nothing passes. Equally true.” — The Art of Fielding

]]> http://www.andamarie.net/2011/12/05/the-art-of-reading-over-a-decade-of-life/feed/ 7 http://www.andamarie.net/2011/11/30/time-recent-features-a-new-song/ http://www.andamarie.net/2011/11/30/time-recent-features-a-new-song/#comments Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:48:50 +0000 Anda Marie http://www.andamarie.net/?p=4722 So today is the final November morning and I can’t wrap my mind around time and timing. I’m always thinking about it too … how it moves, how its speed is amplified in proportion to the number of days we are alive, how it places us in certain places and next to certain people, and how it’s not really linear at all. Maybe I’ve just been reading too much Haruki Murakami lately … but parallel realities and timing/time have always engaged my mind.

I’m done shooting for a month; I always take December off from weddings and engagement sessions. Working on my accounting/taxes/insurance/other exciting paperwork items until the New Year. Also planning to hibernate the last week or so of December … spend time with family and friends and nothing else. Recharge for 2012 and my first wedding of the year in San Francisco mid-January.

I’m all booked up for 2012 weddings now so I’ve been reflecting on how the 2011 wedding season was wonderful and surreal as always. I was able to travel all over the country once again to shoot engagements and weddings and portraits. The people I’ve met have proved to be one-in-a-million yet again. It’s A LOT of hard work (believe me, none of this just *happened* to me) and ups and downs (read THIS ARTICLE for an idea), but mostly I still can’t believe this is my life and I’m doing what I love every day … for a living. I hope I never lose that feeling of awe.

I was so honored to be featured on some of my favorite wedding blogs in 2011. Below are a few select features from the past few months. Thanks to all my clients (and now friends) for having beautiful and inspiring events and letting me into their lives to document them.

Holly & Kohler’s Wedding on Style Me Pretty

Katie & Ben’s Wedding on Green Wedding Shoes

Jody’s Bridal Session on Perfect Bound

Victoria’s Bridal Session on Perfect Bound

Megan & Brent’s Wedding on Style Me Pretty

Megan & Brent’s Engagement Session on The Loveliest Day

Holly & Kohler’s Engagement Session on Perfect Bound

Several more of my awesome clients’ weddings and engagements will be featured in the coming months in both print and online. If time doesn’t escape me again, I’ll be better about updating the blog with those new features :)

I’ll leave you with a beautiful song I discovered late last night and cannot stop listening to this morning. xo, AM

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She has a new website launching in the coming weeks so we spent 30 minutes hanging out with her awesome car, house, and boyfriend … just capturing some relaxed images for the new site. Nikki said she wanted photos that felt like we were just hanging out and I love to shoot that way (I hate posing and don’t even really know how to do it) … so it was perfect.

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There is never enough time with my favorite people and I didn’t take my camera out enough either. But what is ever really enough anyway?

Tomorrow I’m headed to the very bottom of the Okay State of Texas to spend time with some of my other favorites. Life is good. Yeah, I just said that, ha.